Father beats his daughter for using the internet

**rockyrocks** · 11-03-11 at 07:30 AM

Quote: Originally Posted by jonmcc33

The daughter made a mistake by posting this though. You don't want to affect your parents livelihood. If they mistreated you and haven't bothered to notice it, apologized and started the healing process then just let that bridge be burned. I have a few family members who I have completely cut off from my life. Revenge is a horrible path to take and proves that even at 23 now, she is highly immature and continues to make poor decisions.

LOL man you haven't had proper lashing from your parents ever i guess.. It scars far too many kids.. and remember 16 years is a very tumultuous age for any teenager.. They have everything going.. boyfriends/girlfriends, studies, deciding careers, peer pressure etc. Add to this other girl problems..

This kind of beating looked to me as a regular one for that girl.. because she was quick to recover and get back to her things..I know how I was after a beating like, I sulked for days and days together till my dad apologized only because that was a once in a while thing, with something regular you get used to that..so imagine how she must have been coping with all her teenage problems.. also with her mom involved she couldn't tell her anything.. and as much as I know a girl tells her mom quite a lot.. bet this girl didn't tell her nothing..

I dont have any opinions on whether the girl did right or wrong.. I am just imagining her position right now.. the scars she still carries .. those are pretty tough scars.. and if she was getting these kind of beatings regularly then I will hold them at par with sexual abuse of a child..

--

**rockyrocks** · 11-03-11 at 09:03 AM

Quote: Originally Posted by jonmcc33

The daughter made a mistake by posting this though. she is highly immature and continues to make poor decisions.

There you are trashing her and the decisions she made.

Quote: Originally Posted by rockyrocks

They have everything going.. boyfriends/girlfriends, studies, deciding careers, peer pressure etc. Add to this other girl problems..

This kind of beating looked to me as a regular one for that girl.. because she was quick to recover and get back to her things..so imagine how she must have been coping with all her teenage problems.. also with her mom involved she couldn't tell her anything.. and as much as I know a girl tells her mom quite a lot.. bet this girl didn't tell her nothing..

I am just imagining her position right now.. the scars she still carries .. those are pretty tough scars.. and if she was getting these kind of beatings regularly then I will hold them at par with sexual abuse of a child..
--

There I am trying to find/analyses reasons why she might have made those decisions

Quote: Originally Posted by jonmcc33

The real issue is that people like you don't see what this does to a woman.To have that person beat her like that? She'll most likely end up dating abusive men.

And there you are again doing 180 flip and just saying what I said but also telling me that "people" like me don't see what this does to a woman? In-spite of me telling what it actually does..?? :O

Way to go.. YaY.. explaining things to people from who you learnt, when you haven't even experienced even 1% of what that girl went through?

**shonymat** · 11-03-11 at 10:02 AM

Update:

Today video with interview.

Code: Select All

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/45146961/ns/today-today_people/t/daughter-beating-video-why-i-released-it#.TrLGyLL-u8A

Andre69er · 11-03-11 at 11:12 AM

Quote: Originally Posted by jonmcc33

The mother uses "addiction to drugs" as an excuse to why she partook in it. Ugh. Is it just me or do women never have accountability?

I'm sick of people pulling the drug addiction card. We're never gonna get anything decriminalised at this rate.

First she was subject to emotional abuse and constantly manipulated and now she's a drug addict.

**shonymat** · 11-03-11 at 12:31 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by nofile404

I can well appreciate her feelings towards this man, revenge is a dish best served cold.
I got some help in the mid 90's and it really wasn't until then that I fully realized how badly I had been scarred, and how many years had been wasted carrying that hate.

You're alright in my book brother.

**Gandolph13** · 11-03-11 at 02:30 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by nofile404

“ ... it’s not as bad as it looks on tape.”

Subsequent to typing the above I've sat and thought of how I could put my thoughts and emotional reaction to this into words. I lived with a man much like this, perhaps even more violent. I find that I can't. Beatings like this were all too common, with belts, girth straps, rakes, electrical cables, golf clubs ... whatever was close at hand. The emotions engendered almost fifty years ago from this are still too intense to write down. I've only considered intentionally killing one person in my life. That was he.

When my mother died some fifteen years ago, I was handling the final disposition of her property and effects, until from nowhere - we hadn't heard from or of him for some thirty years - to claim her house, property and all of value in her estate, but he couldn't have been bothered to attend her services, a woman who was still legally his wife. [Carrying some kind of torch, mother had never divorced him in absentia] We had a disagreement over some part of the disposition, and he started the old breathing hard, balled fists bit. Ready to slip into the old ogre routine. He was quite used to my cowering before his violence from those years past. What he got instead was a look of disdain, and the words,"Don't even think about hitting me, assh0le, or I'll knock your dick in the dirt." I would have rather enjoyed that.

I found a few years ago, after he had died, that in the "survived by" section on his memorial page on the Experimental Aircraft Association website, that I don't exist. But I find my bastard siblings from the woman he had been living with all those years prominently displayed.
I can well appreciate her feelings towards this man, revenge is a dish best served cold.
I got some help in the mid 90's and it really wasn't until then that I fully realized how badly I had been scarred, and how many years had been wasted carrying that hate.

I Sympathize NF, I know exactly where you're coming from.
I got lot's of help in the late 90s but still let the hatred of my father carry with me till long after his death in 91. It wasn't till a friend explained he was dead and I was still letting him hurt me that I made changes in my life and put the hatred to rest. It was eating at me like a cancer.

I think the best remedy/revenge is outliving the bastards and having a happy life!

**Method512** · 11-03-11 at 02:37 PM

wow, some of you guys (G13, nofile404 amongst others) had some pretty tough times...I dont even know what to say...

**lvstealth** · 11-03-11 at 05:29 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by jonmcc33

The mother uses "addiction to drugs" as an excuse to why she partook in it. Ugh. Is it just me or do women never have accountability?

Quote: Originally Posted by Andre69er

I'm sick of people pulling the drug addiction card. We're never gonna get anything decriminalised at this rate.

First she was subject to emotional abuse and constantly manipulated and now she's a drug addict.

Quote: Originally Posted by jonmcc33

Anything to deny actual accountability. It's like the women that claim abuse as to why they killed their husbands. Juries and judges eat that up and let them go free.

Murder is murder. If you planned it and made any effort to cover it up, that shows cognisant ability....which is MURDER. That's not "insanity".

it is the DAD not the MOM that was supposedly the drug addict. the mom claims abuse as her reason. she says he had her brain washed. from all reports this is the trend for controlling and abusive relationships. it can be compared to Stockholm syndrome.

the father claims she is doing it for retaliation for pulling his financial support. (i personally do not care what the reason, he is an abusive SOB and should be jailed)

the younger daughter is a teen now and the father is threatening the mom to take custody, this might stop any action in this attempt. in my opinion, this is good. as a judge, he would have a chance to take her, with this video release, hopefully no one would give him a dog to take care of much less a teen.

again, i do not care the reasons, i do not care what he might say as an excuse, he deserves anything that they can do to him. the belt was excessive for any reason, but the cussing and the obvious rage, well, that is just evil. he wanted to hurt her, which is different than wanting to discipline her.

just reading that he said "it looks worse than it was" and that he thinks there is ANY reason for that behavior makes me think he really feels above right and wrong, above the law, and that he would do it again if allowed.

grrr...
Mandy

windheaven · 11-03-11 at 07:40 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by Trireaper

really... please tell me where this is
this problem will be gone soon

LOL...i like your style

~~darkcloud85~~ · 11-03-11 at 07:46 PM

soooo me spanking a girl i my bed and she is enjoing it does it count?? :D

Narubxan · 11-03-11 at 08:24 PM

Humans are like wolfs, we need positive reinforcement, but some parents assume we are like dogs, that only respond well to negative reinforcement, doesnt work.
If anything, allowing things but showing their consequences and teaching kids to predict the consequences and then decide what to do is likely the best way to educate, to repress achieves nothing but secretiveness from the child, and loss of respect.

Respect is mutual, a parent has to earn it, but most just demand it for the sake of it.

One of the things that always gets me on my nerves is to give excuses for that kind of behavior, like a friend of mine, her father was abused by his father and the whole thing is "oh, but his fathers father also abused him, so thats all he knows", to me that is pure, utter bullshit, they have a choice, always, as they are responsible for that choice.

Many examples of that, people crawl out of horrible relationships and family situations to be awesome, loving persons, what defines someone is not their past but how they deal with it.
God i hate the "walk on my shoes before you judge me", bullshit, it does not matter what happened to you, there is still right and wrong and it is still up to you do decide which you do, and be accountable for it.

**lvstealth** · 11-03-11 at 08:33 PM

it is good in theory, but there are realities, such as Stockholm syndrome, where the person is brainwashed. i will agree that once one has seen the error, it can and should be fixed, so the moment they hear/make the excuse, they are at fault from that moment on.

smile,
Mandy

edit: in this case, i would feel differently (still outraged and in search of some justice) if the man, upon seeing the video, had said; "omg, i did such a horrible thing, can they forgive me" instead of "it is not so bad".

Narubxan · 11-03-11 at 09:47 PM

(offtopic)
Stockholm syndrome... hmmm, somehow it rings odd in my ears, I do understand the fundamental basis of it, but on the other hand is it so outlandish to expect that after talking with their captors they realize they are right in their cause and sympathize with them, that they agree with them and ultimately try to protect them?

There is the reverse, the Lima syndrome where the captors sympathize with the hostages because they realize, hey the guys are not at fault so will treat them as well as I can.

I mean in the end they are all human beings and humans bond, and sooner or later they will be asked why they are doing that, and they will talk and maybe in some cases the hostages realize that hey, they arent the bad guys, just desperate. (in some cases).

I wonder in how many hostage scenarios hostages were ignored for having "stockholm syndrome", sounds like the the modern "terrorist", a propaganda word...

Anyway yeah I understand what you mean, I am not at the view that Justice should be only done away from the cause, if she was mistreated badly for ages, she had the right to defend herself and if that involved killing the abusive husband, even the better.

On this particular case I do agree that there is a bit of a double standard towards women though (not the subject talked here, but in the case of spousal abuse), there are many men who are abused by their wives, but jury is almost always in favor of the woman because they assume only the male can be an abusive ass.

**Noledox** · 11-03-11 at 11:47 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by Narubxan

Humans are like wolfs, we need positive reinforcement, but some parents assume we are like dogs, that only respond well to negative reinforcement, doesnt work.
If anything, allowing things but showing their consequences and teaching kids to predict the consequences and then decide what to do is likely the best way to educate, to repress achieves nothing but secretiveness from the child, and loss of respect.

Respect is mutual, a parent has to earn it, but most just demand it for the sake of it.

One of the things that always gets me on my nerves is to give excuses for that kind of behavior, like a friend of mine, her father was abused by his father and the whole thing is "oh, but his fathers father also abused him, so thats all he knows", to me that is pure, utter bullshit, they have a choice, always, as they are responsible for that choice.

Many examples of that, people crawl out of horrible relationships and family situations to be awesome, loving persons, what defines someone is not their past but how they deal with it.
God i hate the "walk on my shoes before you judge me", bullshit, it does not matter what happened to you, there is still right and wrong and it is still up to you do decide which you do, and be accountable for it.

It seems to me that the 'cycle of violence' argument isn't about absolutes, but rather probability. A victim of child abuse will more easily fall into the same patterns, and has a more difficult time avoiding them. That doesn't mean that those who do fall are without blame, just a little easier to understand and sympathise with. Those who do not fall show a great ability to overcome and deserve great respect.

11-03-11 at 07:30 AM	#43
rockyrocks Elite Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 2,360	Quote: Originally Posted by jonmcc33 The daughter made a mistake by posting this though. You don't want to affect your parents livelihood. If they mistreated you and haven't bothered to notice it, apologized and started the healing process then just let that bridge be burned. I have a few family members who I have completely cut off from my life. Revenge is a horrible path to take and proves that even at 23 now, she is highly immature and continues to make poor decisions. LOL man you haven't had proper lashing from your parents ever i guess.. It scars far too many kids.. and remember 16 years is a very tumultuous age for any teenager.. They have everything going.. boyfriends/girlfriends, studies, deciding careers, peer pressure etc. Add to this other girl problems.. This kind of beating looked to me as a regular one for that girl.. because she was quick to recover and get back to her things..I know how I was after a beating like, I sulked for days and days together till my dad apologized only because that was a once in a while thing, with something regular you get used to that..so imagine how she must have been coping with all her teenage problems.. also with her mom involved she couldn't tell her anything.. and as much as I know a girl tells her mom quite a lot.. bet this girl didn't tell her nothing.. I dont have any opinions on whether the girl did right or wrong.. I am just imagining her position right now.. the scars she still carries .. those are pretty tough scars.. and if she was getting these kind of beatings regularly then I will hold them at par with sexual abuse of a child.. -- Last edited by rockyrocks; 11-03-11 at 07:33 AM.

11-03-11 at 10:02 AM	#45
shonymat Elder Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 2,899	Update: Today video with interview. Code: Select All http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/45146961/ns/today-today_people/t/daughter-beating-video-why-i-released-it#.TrLGyLL-u8A

11-03-11 at 08:33 PM	#54
lvstealth Give me your Glow juice.. Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Tennessee, USA Posts: 5,130	it is good in theory, but there are realities, such as Stockholm syndrome, where the person is brainwashed. i will agree that once one has seen the error, it can and should be fixed, so the moment they hear/make the excuse, they are at fault from that moment on. smile, Mandy edit: in this case, i would feel differently (still outraged and in search of some justice) if the man, upon seeing the video, had said; "omg, i did such a horrible thing, can they forgive me" instead of "it is not so bad". Last edited by lvstealth; 11-03-11 at 08:36 PM.

11-03-11 at 09:03 AM	#44
rockyrocks Elite Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 2,360	Quote: Originally Posted by jonmcc33 The daughter made a mistake by posting this though. she is highly immature and continues to make poor decisions. There you are trashing her and the decisions she made. Quote: Originally Posted by rockyrocks They have everything going.. boyfriends/girlfriends, studies, deciding careers, peer pressure etc. Add to this other girl problems.. This kind of beating looked to me as a regular one for that girl.. because she was quick to recover and get back to her things..so imagine how she must have been coping with all her teenage problems.. also with her mom involved she couldn't tell her anything.. and as much as I know a girl tells her mom quite a lot.. bet this girl didn't tell her nothing.. I am just imagining her position right now.. the scars she still carries .. those are pretty tough scars.. and if she was getting these kind of beatings regularly then I will hold them at par with sexual abuse of a child.. -- There I am trying to find/analyses reasons why she might have made those decisions Quote: Originally Posted by jonmcc33 The real issue is that people like you don't see what this does to a woman.To have that person beat her like that? She'll most likely end up dating abusive men. And there you are again doing 180 flip and just saying what I said but also telling me that "people" like me don't see what this does to a woman? In-spite of me telling what it actually does..?? :O Way to go.. YaY.. explaining things to people from who you learnt, when you haven't even experienced even 1% of what that girl went through?

11-03-11 at 11:12 AM	#46
Andre69er Elite Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Australia. Posts: 1,690	Quote: Originally Posted by jonmcc33 The mother uses "addiction to drugs" as an excuse to why she partook in it. Ugh. Is it just me or do women never have accountability? I'm sick of people pulling the drug addiction card. We're never gonna get anything decriminalised at this rate. First she was subject to emotional abuse and constantly manipulated and now she's a drug addict.

11-03-11 at 12:31 PM	#47
shonymat Elder Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 2,899	Quote: Originally Posted by nofile404 I can well appreciate her feelings towards this man, revenge is a dish best served cold. I got some help in the mid 90's and it really wasn't until then that I fully realized how badly I had been scarred, and how many years had been wasted carrying that hate. You're alright in my book brother.

11-03-11 at 02:30 PM	#48
Gandolph13 Legendary Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Australia (GMT+10) Posts: 12,353	Quote: Originally Posted by nofile404 “ ... it’s not as bad as it looks on tape.” Subsequent to typing the above I've sat and thought of how I could put my thoughts and emotional reaction to this into words. I lived with a man much like this, perhaps even more violent. I find that I can't. Beatings like this were all too common, with belts, girth straps, rakes, electrical cables, golf clubs ... whatever was close at hand. The emotions engendered almost fifty years ago from this are still too intense to write down. I've only considered intentionally killing one person in my life. That was he. When my mother died some fifteen years ago, I was handling the final disposition of her property and effects, until from nowhere - we hadn't heard from or of him for some thirty years - to claim her house, property and all of value in her estate, but he couldn't have been bothered to attend her services, a woman who was still legally his wife. [Carrying some kind of torch, mother had never divorced him in absentia] We had a disagreement over some part of the disposition, and he started the old breathing hard, balled fists bit. Ready to slip into the old ogre routine. He was quite used to my cowering before his violence from those years past. What he got instead was a look of disdain, and the words,"Don't even think about hitting me, assh0le, or I'll knock your dick in the dirt." I would have rather enjoyed that. I found a few years ago, after he had died, that in the "survived by" section on his memorial page on the Experimental Aircraft Association website, that I don't exist. But I find my bastard siblings from the woman he had been living with all those years prominently displayed. I can well appreciate her feelings towards this man, revenge is a dish best served cold. I got some help in the mid 90's and it really wasn't until then that I fully realized how badly I had been scarred, and how many years had been wasted carrying that hate. I Sympathize NF, I know exactly where you're coming from. I got lot's of help in the late 90s but still let the hatred of my father carry with me till long after his death in 91. It wasn't till a friend explained he was dead and I was still letting him hurt me that I made changes in my life and put the hatred to rest. It was eating at me like a cancer. I think the best remedy/revenge is outliving the bastards and having a happy life!

11-03-11 at 02:37 PM	#49
Method512 Is there a character limi Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Jersey (GMT) Posts: 3,304	wow, some of you guys (G13, nofile404 amongst others) had some pretty tough times...I dont even know what to say...

11-03-11 at 05:29 PM	#50
lvstealth Give me your Glow juice.. Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Tennessee, USA Posts: 5,130	Quote: Originally Posted by jonmcc33 The mother uses "addiction to drugs" as an excuse to why she partook in it. Ugh. Is it just me or do women never have accountability? Quote: Originally Posted by Andre69er I'm sick of people pulling the drug addiction card. We're never gonna get anything decriminalised at this rate. First she was subject to emotional abuse and constantly manipulated and now she's a drug addict. Quote: Originally Posted by jonmcc33 Anything to deny actual accountability. It's like the women that claim abuse as to why they killed their husbands. Juries and judges eat that up and let them go free. Murder is murder. If you planned it and made any effort to cover it up, that shows cognisant ability....which is MURDER. That's not "insanity". it is the DAD not the MOM that was supposedly the drug addict. the mom claims abuse as her reason. she says he had her brain washed. from all reports this is the trend for controlling and abusive relationships. it can be compared to Stockholm syndrome. the father claims she is doing it for retaliation for pulling his financial support. (i personally do not care what the reason, he is an abusive SOB and should be jailed) the younger daughter is a teen now and the father is threatening the mom to take custody, this might stop any action in this attempt. in my opinion, this is good. as a judge, he would have a chance to take her, with this video release, hopefully no one would give him a dog to take care of much less a teen. again, i do not care the reasons, i do not care what he might say as an excuse, he deserves anything that they can do to him. the belt was excessive for any reason, but the cussing and the obvious rage, well, that is just evil. he wanted to hurt her, which is different than wanting to discipline her. just reading that he said "it looks worse than it was" and that he thinks there is ANY reason for that behavior makes me think he really feels above right and wrong, above the law, and that he would do it again if allowed. grrr... Mandy

11-03-11 at 07:40 PM	#51
windheaven Newcomer Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 82	Quote: Originally Posted by Trireaper really... please tell me where this is this problem will be gone soon LOL...i like your style

11-03-11 at 07:46 PM	#52
~~darkcloud85~~ Banned Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 407	soooo me spanking a girl i my bed and she is enjoing it does it count?? :D

11-03-11 at 08:24 PM	#53
Narubxan Master Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: in the Twilight Posts: 1,063	Humans are like wolfs, we need positive reinforcement, but some parents assume we are like dogs, that only respond well to negative reinforcement, doesnt work. If anything, allowing things but showing their consequences and teaching kids to predict the consequences and then decide what to do is likely the best way to educate, to repress achieves nothing but secretiveness from the child, and loss of respect. Respect is mutual, a parent has to earn it, but most just demand it for the sake of it. One of the things that always gets me on my nerves is to give excuses for that kind of behavior, like a friend of mine, her father was abused by his father and the whole thing is "oh, but his fathers father also abused him, so thats all he knows", to me that is pure, utter bullshit, they have a choice, always, as they are responsible for that choice. Many examples of that, people crawl out of horrible relationships and family situations to be awesome, loving persons, what defines someone is not their past but how they deal with it. God i hate the "walk on my shoes before you judge me", bullshit, it does not matter what happened to you, there is still right and wrong and it is still up to you do decide which you do, and be accountable for it.

11-03-11 at 09:47 PM	#55
Narubxan Master Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: in the Twilight Posts: 1,063	(offtopic) Stockholm syndrome... hmmm, somehow it rings odd in my ears, I do understand the fundamental basis of it, but on the other hand is it so outlandish to expect that after talking with their captors they realize they are right in their cause and sympathize with them, that they agree with them and ultimately try to protect them? There is the reverse, the Lima syndrome where the captors sympathize with the hostages because they realize, hey the guys are not at fault so will treat them as well as I can. I mean in the end they are all human beings and humans bond, and sooner or later they will be asked why they are doing that, and they will talk and maybe in some cases the hostages realize that hey, they arent the bad guys, just desperate. (in some cases). I wonder in how many hostage scenarios hostages were ignored for having "stockholm syndrome", sounds like the the modern "terrorist", a propaganda word... Anyway yeah I understand what you mean, I am not at the view that Justice should be only done away from the cause, if she was mistreated badly for ages, she had the right to defend herself and if that involved killing the abusive husband, even the better. On this particular case I do agree that there is a bit of a double standard towards women though (not the subject talked here, but in the case of spousal abuse), there are many men who are abused by their wives, but jury is almost always in favor of the woman because they assume only the male can be an abusive ass.

11-03-11 at 11:47 PM	#56
Noledox Bad command or file name Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Terra Incognita Posts: 2,709	Quote: Originally Posted by Narubxan Humans are like wolfs, we need positive reinforcement, but some parents assume we are like dogs, that only respond well to negative reinforcement, doesnt work. If anything, allowing things but showing their consequences and teaching kids to predict the consequences and then decide what to do is likely the best way to educate, to repress achieves nothing but secretiveness from the child, and loss of respect. Respect is mutual, a parent has to earn it, but most just demand it for the sake of it. One of the things that always gets me on my nerves is to give excuses for that kind of behavior, like a friend of mine, her father was abused by his father and the whole thing is "oh, but his fathers father also abused him, so thats all he knows", to me that is pure, utter bullshit, they have a choice, always, as they are responsible for that choice. Many examples of that, people crawl out of horrible relationships and family situations to be awesome, loving persons, what defines someone is not their past but how they deal with it. God i hate the "walk on my shoes before you judge me", bullshit, it does not matter what happened to you, there is still right and wrong and it is still up to you do decide which you do, and be accountable for it. It seems to me that the 'cycle of violence' argument isn't about absolutes, but rather probability. A victim of child abuse will more easily fall into the same patterns, and has a more difficult time avoiding them. That doesn't mean that those who do fall are without blame, just a little easier to understand and sympathise with. Those who do not fall show a great ability to overcome and deserve great respect.