Old 01-21-09, 08:37 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 21
Default A Couple of Cracks

Three Mice
Three mice decide to meet and talk about their adventures. The first says, " I'm so tough that when the owner sprays the house with rat poison, I go out and store some of it to put in my coffee. I like getting a buzz every morning." The second replies, "That's nothing. My middle name is 'Dangerous,' when the owner lays down mousetraps, I move the cheese and lie down. When the bar snaps down, I have some fun benchpressing." The third goes, "You guys are pussies. I have to go home and screw the cat."
The Assassin
Two men meet on the golf course. As they're golfing, the first tries to begin a conversation: "Hi, I'm James. I work in real estate. What about you?" The second replies, "Sorry, but I can't tell you my name or my profession." The first keeps badgering him, and finally, the man says, "I'm a professional hitman." He takes out a small package from his golf bag, opens it, takes out numerous pieces of metal, and assembles it into a sniper rifle. "Here, look through the scope." The first looks around and says, "Damnnnn! I can see my house from here... My wife's all naked..... and why is the neighbor coming over.... nude....." Soon the first man gets extremely angry and asks, "how much do you charge?" The hitman states "$50,000 per shot, where do you want me to shoot?" "The golfer says, "two shots: shoot my wife in the mouth, because she's always nagging me about golf and accusing my of having an affair. Shoot the neighbor in the dick because he's so darn cocky." The hitman sets up, aims, and stays perfectly still. A few minutes pass. The golfer asks, "What the hell is taking you so long?" The hitman replies, "If I wait a little more, I might be able to save you $50,000."
JohnSmith90 is offline  
Old 01-22-09, 03:02 AM   #2

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: The Netherworld
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Default Re: A Couple of Cracks

I dont get it..why doesn't he shoot?
infinitum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 03:35 PM   #3
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 37
Default Re: A Couple of Cracks

first one was dumb...but the 2nd one was worth it
thnx brosef
EllisD is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 04:00 PM   #4
Join Date: Jan 2009
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Default Re: A Couple of Cracks

@infinitum he's waiting for the mouth and the dick to be in the same spot - hence, one shot.
JohnSmith90 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 04:02 PM   #5
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 74
Default Re: A Couple of Cracks

Yup...first crack sucks. The second was great!
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