[farcue]

> These are actual writings from various hospital charts.
>
> 1.The patient refused an autopsy.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
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> 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
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> 4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
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> 5 Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 6. On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
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> 7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
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> 8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
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> 10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 12. She is numb from her toes down.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated, and sent home.
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> 14. The skin was moist and dry.
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> 15 Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
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> 16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
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> 19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
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> 21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
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> 23. Skin: somewhat pale but present
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 24. The pelvis exam will be done later on the floor.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

[Gandolph13]

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
They took the scenic route.

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
Obviously hung like an elephant.

Thanks Farcue, these are real funny.